Oct 12, 2009

How good things come in bad packages


I was reflecting today upon blessings and happy times in my life, and my thoughts wandered back to one particular horse. I got him when I was just twenty-six, and just moved to Wyoming. He was my first horse, and I named him Tipper. He was so named because of his white-tipped ears that looked like someone took a paintbrush to them to offer the finishing touch on that beautiful, chestnut and white coat of his.

Tipper, did not want to be trained. He went through two trainers, in fact. The first one gave up as she was scared of him, "I just don't know how high he's going to get when he gets mad, I can't do anything more for him." The second trainer thought he was a jughead, and gave up on him a couple months later.

After trainer number two, I resolved I would show everyone. I was told by my barn-friends, "You know, some horses just can't be changed." But day after day I set out, and day after day my horse jigged, spit, snorted, and tried to run off with me. I read instructional books, watched instructional videos...it seemed nothing would make this horse slow down, and listen. If I opened him up and let him run, it became apparent he would rather run himself to death than relax. He was after all, sired by a champion AAA running quarter horse, and Tipper... could run. If I held him back, then coaxed him with reign releases designed to reward any drop of the head, slowing, or any hint of "listening" he'd take off again.

But one thing I knew... Tipper was indeed not a jughead.

I don't know what happened, but one day, I gently pushed him into a trot and... he took three, slow and easy steps into that jog. Elated, I jumped off him and I looked him in the eye and I swear I heard that horse say, "Is that all you wanted?"

From that day on, he was mostly a dream. An incredible, surefooted, level-headed mountain horse that took me through some rough country in the Absoroka Range, and even won a ribbon in a show. That day a friend told me, "I've never seen a more beautiful jog on a horse..." Tipper was my friend, and most importantly saw me through some of the desperate times in my life. I now know, that that horse was a God-send. What I had thought was a "bad day" for a twenty-six year old girl with a flat tire... the day that would lead me to owning this horse... became life-altering, for the better.

Some years later my longtime horseshoer told me, "You're the best thing that ever happened to that horse." I say that goes both ways. He was a good horse.

Sep 6, 2009

Asunder


Sometimes, there aren't words. No amount of consolation can make it go away. Sometimes the load is too heavy to put down, and so we lay down, and wait for it to go away.











Photo courtesy of someone more proficient with a camera than I.

Sep 1, 2009

New Breath for an Old Mountain


A couple of weekends ago, I was pleased and blessed to play hostess to a group of nutcase, climb-loving cyclists on "my hill." It is a secret spot to those of us locals that derive pleasure from pain. Those representing hailed from all over. Including the locals, we came from the east coast, the south, the left coast, the far northern climes, and the Seattle area.

Two days of riding, food, wineries, good people, a full house, and one big mountain.

Although I've been up that mountain a few times, as it's little more than a few paces out my front door, it'll never be the same hill to me. Never. Good people make every place better, and we feel the echo when they leave.


































A special thanks to two, no three people. Landon thanks for carrying Collin, our littlest Leukemia survivor to the top; thanks Collin and family for your inspiration. Thanks dad, although leukemia got you, you got to a much higher top indeed, than this dumb little mountain here on earth.

Jun 14, 2009

It's Supposed to Hurt, aka a Tired Analogy


Some mountains are climbed by choice, others by necessity and others by force. Funny how we relate life's difficulties to climbing mountains, as if by reaching the top we have somehow conquered and reached the place we will reside forever. It's the other way around... it's about living in the valley successfully. Because in fact, very little time in life is a mountaintop experience.



Today however I climbed, on a bike and by choice. It hurt. And yes, it felt wonderful.





We can learn to endure pain as something we own, a tool that makes each successive hill more relevant, perhaps not easier or less painful, but with a perspective and strength we did not have before.





May 20, 2009

Consider the Lillies of the Field


May in the mountains means wildflowers. Driving along the highway I noticed an abundance of Balsam Root this year in the foothills. I took a drive up a dirt road just four miles from my house that I have not yet travelled, although I drive by it every day. I thought perhaps I might find some easily accessible area that I could hike around a little and see some of the season's best offerings, but for some reason my expectations were low.

Bumping along with the dog in the passenger seat, I rounded a corner just a couple miles up and found what I'd been looking for.





I ended up spending most of the afternoon up there tromping around with the dog. I was looking for any flower I could find, and the most beautiful ones I found, were the size of a quarter or less and grew very low to the ground. Had I not been looking, I would have stepped over them or just stepped on them on my way to wherever.

With my little point and shoot camera I was on hands and knees, even belly crawling to inspect every facet of flowers I'd never taken the time to see.


At the crest in a ridge, I found the old fire lookout and its accompanying dilapidated outhouse.







No one was up there that day, and aside from hunting season and a few dirt bikers no one really does go there. Coming back down I hit the main road, the road I travel every day, and it was as though I did not recognize it and I felt like I'd been gone for a long time.







How many have waited patiently for us to see them? How many grow low to the ground then leave in their season with no one to take notice? How many times have I passed you by on my way to wherever I'm going?

Apr 27, 2009

Jeff Tift: The View From the Deck


The first time I met Jeff Tift was shortly after I'd seen his paintings displayed at a local business complex. I was at the complex for a job related workshop and while I don't have a clue what the workshop was about, I vividly remember making my way to each painting hung throughout the lobby. And I think if I had to, I could still remember which painting was on what wall: landscapes and wildlife all with color and perspective that made me feel part of each scene. I learned he lived just up the road from me, so after contacting him I paid him a visit.

When I think of "artists" I often think of adjectives like tortured; dark; mysterious and moody. My mind conjures up reclusive little scotch-swigging hermits muttering to themselves just one brushstroke away from psychosis. Jeff however was perfunctorily normal. After I slipped in the snow and fell on top of his huge black dog, a strapping guy with an easy, almost gregarious manner and a mess of shaggy brown hair met me at the door. He and his wife Kathy, an R.N., are both outdoor sports enthusiasts, and live perched on a steep hillside in a classic-style log home surrounded by the pine trees that come mandatory with every log home. The mountains, valley floor and river sprawl out in front of them like some sort of giant "wish you were here" postcard.

I went for a visit again after calling him about doing a write-up, "Dude, how would you feel about being in my blog?"
"Uh.I don't know."


Rain my Pit Bull and I arrived at the end of their steep and narrow dirt drive and upon opening my car door, Jeff's black Newfoundland dog Thor stuck his enormous, woolly head in and dribbled slobber on me from his floppy jowls. Rain was certain Thor snacked on chocolate-brown Pit Bulls just to keep his blood sugar up, but Thor is a lot like Jeff-happy go lucky-and it didn't take long before she made herself at home peeing in his driveway.

We planted ourselves in a couple of Adirondack chairs on the deck overlooking the valley. Jeff jabbed a pen and notepad at me and said something about taking notes, clearly not used to my laissez-faire "interview" style. A pad and pen were not in my plan and while I was somewhat amused, inwardly I protested... Alright, I'll do it your way. I went to scribbling in the sun while Hummingbirds buzzed around our heads and Thor intermittently shared his happy-slobber with me.

I really didn't want to ask Jeff the nauseating questions that artists must get asked over and over by fawning aficionados: "I just love your work, where do you get your inspiration?" and, "When did you start painting? You're sooo talented. Did you always know you were going to be an artist?" Notepad in hand, I managed to cough up a few basic questions sans the syrupy, rhetorical adulation. He told me when and how he started, why he started, and that he thinks a lot of (but not all) modern art that artsy-types regurgitate their adoration for, is crap. He said that realists are often sniffed at in the art world as somehow less talented. And while he has an enormous appreciation for good impressionists, he is adamant the good impressionists are good realists first. Meaning as I understood it, one first has to study and accurately paint how things really are in order to convey in impressionism how things might appear to unfettered eyes. But I'm just not that into art, so possibly I didn't get it.

The conversation took on its own shape as we chatted, and in that moment I was freed of the dreaded notepad. These are the conversations that roll easily, where a beer or an iced tea is shared over kitchen-table philosophising. We went from impressionism, to politics and religion. I'm not sure how we got to politics and religion but it had to do with discussing the huge spectrum of residents in this valley and how we all seem to coexist peaceably. Jeff, being as he states, "very liberal" also maintains that in some ways he's "old fashioned" especially when it comes to his long relationship with his wife and expressed consternation that people less and less stick it out in marriage. Jeff is agnostic, and I am a theist. He asked if I had been smoking pot after I talked about the concept and plausibility of eternity, and he said something about he thinks I think too much and then said he didn't like talking about this stuff because he usually scares people off. "Not at all, it shouldn't be" I said, because in my view "politics, philosophies and religion" is at the essence of us all.

No one put Jeff through art school, or paid his way through college and in fact he's never had formal art education. He always dabbled in drawing but in '79 or thereabouts his mom sent him "one of those cheap little paint sets" for Christmas. Majoring in Wildlife Biology because he says, "I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do," that paint set and an understanding wife would ultimately send him on course to where he is now. He says he started looking at artists such as Bateman and thought, 'Sh*t. That'd be a good way to make a living.'

He didn't finish his final year of college because as he put it, "I ran out of money." He dropped out and worked at a mill, of which he said, were insanely fun times due in part to the good weed, although he stopped the weed around 1982 because of the fog it left him in. Then in 1989 after six years of working with his dad at the brickyard, he got tired of loading rock... "I hated my job." He, like many creative people, doesn't thrive in the tedium of schedules and repetitive tasks. In a moment of realization, he chucked the job to pursue painting full time.

"...dad said, '...goddam it Jeff. What are you doing?'" Everyone around him thought he'd lost it. Of his wife, Jeff says, "I don't know how she put up with me."

Shortly after ditching the regular job, he entered his work in the Pac-Rim Wildlife Art Show, and one piece, "Lone Wolf," won Best in Show. Best in show...he chucks it all, and wins Best in Show.

Aside from finding his work listed at his website below, Jeff can be seen speeding up and down the valley with his kayak strapped to the roof and Thor's head sticking out the window.


Go to http://www.jefftift.com/

Below are some of my favorites, but are only a small sampling of Jeff's use of subject matter. Click on any image below to enlarge.
























All images used by permission of Jeff Tift.

Mar 9, 2009

One Year Ago

This will be my only post for the month. It's fitting, as this is the month that dad passed away, one year ago. It was March 28th of 2008 and Leukemia had declared war with him just six weeks prior. Leukemia had the last word on March 28th...at least on this earth.

Dad: brilliant mind, unbearable demands and criticisms, militaristic, past demons, doing right by family, fixed everything, gained much and lost who knows how much, devoted to faith, haunted, beautiful violinist, pilot, engineer, loved much yet unable to love, sailor, dreamer and dasher of dreams, shouter, the best laugher, husband, worrier, saw through the bullsh*t and stood up for integrity and for honor and for fidelity and all that crap that the world calls you a sucker for being. Lover of lemon meringue pie and mountains and fishing and the Chilcoot trail and the big blue canoe.

My best memories: taking a sixteen year old to buy her first real bike and funny little spandex bike shorts and bike shoes, the hike to Goat Lake and the red raft, teaching me to read a map and compass and turning me loose on my own in the wilderness... "Don't forget to turn right at the clump of three trees...then look for the rock fall on your left, scramble up that and you'll find the old trail..."

Here's to you dad, you made it. I love you and see you soon.

P.S. your cat is getting on my last nerve. He's sitting here on my lap purring as I type this. He says "Hi".